regret is my constant companion
by Ivory Muse
Summary: I could not foresee this thing happening to you. - Mai, Ty Lee.


_A/N: If I were to list all of my problems with The Promise, this author's note would be longer than the actual story. Instead, enjoy this Mailee interlude._

* * *

Mai is sitting at the edge of the water, knees clutched to chest. It reminds her of when they were little girls, not so long ago, hiding in the pantry, cringing away from Azula's wrath. But Azula has shriveled away now, burned herself up, and it is another royal who shattered her heart.

{_Sometimes, Ty Lee hates Zuko. She isn't supposed to hate- she's made of butterflies and puppy-kittens and sugar- but she can see the results of his unthinking callousness right before her eyes. I know you, she'd once said, I know you as a petulant boy, I know you as a disgraced exile, I know you as an angry princeling, I do not know you as a tyrant._}

She looks so sad, and this unnerves her. She's seen Mai apathetic, furious, seething beneath an impassive mask- never _faded_, a painting with the colors bled out.

Slowly, she plops down on the damp ground beside the older woman. "Do you want to talk?" Ty Lee ventures.

"Of course I want to talk," Mai snaps in response. "Why don't we analyze my feelings in excruciating detail, and think about my motivations, and have a nice crying session afterwards?" She falls silent then, picks at blades of grass. "I had to leave," she finally says. "He's jumped off the deep end- asking _Ozai_ for advice? Does he have some kind of death wish? He's changed, again. He doesn't tell me anything. And I can't be a doll on his arm. Not anymore."

{_"It is the woman's role to be a helpmate, Ty Lee," her mother said, straightening her muddy kimono in a futile attempt to hide the stains. "Do you understand? You mustn't outshine Hasook at gymnastics again and make him angry. Not if you want to marry him. Don't you want to marry him and live in a big house with lots of servants and pretty clothes?"_

_"No," she replied artlessly, as only small children can. "I want to be an acrobat."_}

"He doesn't deserve you."

"He told me that he loved me. As though that's supposed to change my mind."

_Azula never said that she loved me. I don't think she ever loved, period. Maybe that made it easier when I had to destroy her._

"Stay here as long as you want," she offers. "I have tons of room, and the warriors won't mind- it'll be like when we were kids at the academy!"

"Agni forbid," Mai shoots back, but she's smiling in her own way. "I can't stay, though. I need to figure out what I'm going to do."

What is the ideal career for a woman of no clan, no allegiance? She wishes that Mai's future was as clear-cut as hers. "Bounty hunting?" she throws out.

"Tracking down criminals in terrible weather, not knowing where my dinner might come from, risking my life? Sounds fantastic," Mai quips.

Ty Lee leans over and kisses her in the place where lips and cheek meet, not quite romance, not quite comfort- she doesn't want to push too far, take advantage of her friend in this kind of state.

{_They'd kissed when they shared a prison cell. It was brief and they separated almost instantly, because no amount of spit-swapping could change the truth. Perhaps their relationship is one of mutual, selfish consolation, girls looking to anchor themselves in each other._}

"I'm not Azula."

"You aren't," she agrees. Azula had been cruel and damaged and spiteful and vibrant all at once, a hurricane in her intense fury, and she isn't sure what her relationship with Mai will be without her presence as a common denominator. But she might be ready to move on. This is an era of new beginnings, after all. "I'm not Zuko. Is that... okay?"

"It could be," Mai admits, and for the first time in maybe forever she can detect a hint of vulnerability. Ty Lee isn't smart or elegant or even very good at restraining her laughter, but she does know how to read people. "In time. Can you give me that?"

_I was ready to give my life for you, once. Three blows and there's a best friend turned tormentor at my feet. Your heart still beating stubbornly._

She moves to grasp Mai's hand, slim ivory fingers against calloused brown ones. "Yeah."


End file.
